It Cuts Like A Blade Newly Sharpened.

If I Die Young was my favorite song for a while. If you look back at an older post, you'll see I actually posted the music video. But ever since Ben, I can't even get through the first verse without starting to cry. I loved the song because I thought deep down that I could relate to it. I never ever imagined that anyone else I knew could relate to it. The song just keeps getting more popular and it's getting harder to avoid it. I've tried to fight back the tears, but I can't seem to get very far. Hopefully I'll be stronger soon, but I very much doubt it.

Finally I'm Getting Into This Session.

This session at school, were getting into studios and lighting. I don't have any real knowledge about lighting so I've been feeling a little behind. But I totally nailed my last assignment. I'm so excited about it because I feel like everything just clicked. Everything just made sense and I could see exactly how each move would change the lighting. I feel really excited about school again and I'm very happy about that.

Give In To Me.

So I saw Country Strong tonight. I was looking for more of an inspirational movie, which this didn't turn out to be. But it was still a great movie. Definitely go check it out. Here's a clip:

If You're A Bird......I'm A Bird.

I had to post this scene too......I love it.

I'll Be Seeing You.

The Notebook is every girls favorite love story. It was mine for a time as well. I didn't realize how close to my heart it was until recently. This movie will forever engrave what once was ours and will help me keep you close. I'll be seeing you.

Time To Breath.

Okay so, I am finally done with Accounting. Yes, that's right folks, I passed! Finally, that class took forever. And now is time for some family time and then some Vegas turning 21 time! These next few weeks are very much needed and I'm so excited to start the vacation. I'm going to try and turn my brain off for a few days and enjoy this time. So I'll see you in the new year!

There's A Feeling Coming Over Me.

There's a feeling coming over me, it's taking me over. My body feels restless and it needs to move. I have these thoughts screaming in my ear. I've been trying to ignore them, but they're just too loud. I can muffle the sound a million different ways, but in the end it's just too loud. I can't deny what I need to do. But if I give in to the want and the addiction, would I be able to stop tomorrow? Or would I get pulled in all over again? I don't want it all back....I just want the feeling for a little while....could I just go back for a few hours? I very much doubt that it would be possible. I doubt it because I may be strong, but no one is that strong.

If I Was From Paris...

Totally digging this song right now.

A Cancer Of Sorts.

There's a cancer of sorts that has crawled into my head. It seems to spread slowly, but it hits me out of nowhere. One minute I'm driving, then next thing I know, all I wanna do is cry. This week,I thought, might be better. But it wasn't. He showed me how to love life and every time I appreciate something, all I wanna do is text him, but I can't because his mom cancelled his phone service. I know this because I've been calling his voicemail. I know that sounds like a horrible thing to do, but I just wanted to talk to him, ya know? But now I don't even have a recording of him. Slowly everyones letting him go. How do they do that? How do you let someone go?

Let's Take A Trip Around The World Today.

Good song by Alexz Johnson. Check it:

Too Far.

Okay so picture this; your on a date. This guy takes you to this cute romantic cafe. He then pulls out his iPhone so he can "check in". By doing so, it then gets posted on Facebook. So because he's checking something on his phone, you check your Facebook on your phone and see this in among with the latest status updates. So you "like" it. Does this seem weird to anyone else at all? I mean come on. Don't you think that's a little far? Shouldn't you be talking on your date? This does not count as acceptable date conversation. And what is this latest obsession with people needing to know where you are at all times? It's not normal. If it was, we'd all be wearing tracking devices.

Today's Quote.

Silence may be as variously shaded as speech.
Edith Wharton (1862-1937)

I Should Have Known Something Was Coming.

All month I've been listening to songs about death, not on purpose, and on monday morning I was actually thinking about him and how I was going to call him later that night. Of course, there was no answer. All month I've been seeing these suicide ads and all month I've been seeing sadness and loneliness. More and more I've realized that most students that go to my school are way less off than I. Most don't have any real friends here. And I've been thinking how important friendship is. I had no idea the universe was trying to warn me that death was around the corner. If only I had known or paid more attention to the signs. Yesterday I had to leave work early because on my half I started crying and once I start it's hard for me to stop. I can't focus on my assignments and I have no idea how I'm going to have everything done in time for tomorrow. I have to shoot my creative but I cant think of anything worth while. My minds blocked. Everything goes back to him. I want to ask for an extension, but I'm not sure I'll do any better next week.

Loving From A DIstance.

It's hard sometimes, moving so much. I find that when I move people automatically assume that I will vanish, as most people do. I try very hard to not become the silence that lingers after someone leaves you and to stay in contact. I try to make sure those that I love know that they are loved. If they could all move with me when I go somewhere, it would be perfect. But sadly they cannot, and I cannot always stay in contact on a regular basis. I do try, but it seems I've fallen short. So to all that I love, you are with me everyday. Most smiles and laughs are brought on by memories that you have all given me. Please know, you are always loved. If nothing else, know that one person in this world truly loves you for you and will always have an open door to you.