La Vie En Rose.

I love this song <3

The Hollow Men.

The Hollow Men
T. S. Eliot

A penny for the Old Guy

I

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom
Remember us—if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

II

Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death’s dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind’s singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star.

Let me be no nearer
In death’s dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat’s coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer—

Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom

III

This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man’s hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.

Is it like this
In death’s other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.

IV

The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death’s twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.

V

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o’clock in the morning.

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Loud Music.

I love this new song by Michelle Branch......sooo cute! <3

Sooner Or Later.

Sooner or later, your gonna wish you had me.

Nobody Sees Them Standing.

I love this scene from Meet Me In St. Louis. <3

Never Neverland.

I remember when I was still in high school trying to figure out what classes to take at community college. I had this feeling of an eternity of school staring at me in the face. I wasn't even 18 at that time. But somehow four years have now gone by. It's amazing how much can happen in one persons life. There are so many people who were so important back then that I now miss, but can never talk to again. I'm such a different person from who I used to be and that boggles my mind. I have no idea how I got here. So much has happened and so much has affected me. Sometimes I miss who I was, but I also like who I am now. I was very oblivious before and it had a lot of negative effects on my life, but it also created a less complicated life. Now my eyes are open and I see the world for what it is and people for who they are, but man is life insane, complicated, dark, and intense. If only I could have stayed young. I should have just flown away to Never Neverland.

It seems so easy.....

All My Life.

Tonight I had pandora on and our song started to play. <3 Miss you always.

Romantic.

This song always sweeps me off my feet.

Your Touch.

I miss your touch, the connection, the love. When we were together you made me feel sexy, beautiful, and strong. I miss the way your touch told me everything I needed to know about you. You were loving, caring, strong, and protective. You knew how to make me feel comfortable and at ease, which is task no one else has mastered. Somehow you knew how to stop my mind and how to make me forget and focus on what was happening then at that moment. It was a gift. I have never felt as safe as I did in those moments. If only you could be forgiving. For someone to love me and to be able to stay around they must be forgiving. Sadly you could not forgive my many faults and that is something I cannot forgive. But on nights like this, I still miss you, your touch, your love, and us.

1 + 1

I love this song. I couldn't find the music video, so I'm just posting the audio. This song is so beautiful.

It's Time.

So today I booked my ticket to fly into Calgary. I am going to say goodbye to him. I will visit him and tell him how much he was loved and say goodbye. Wow. I just realized i'll be saying goodbye. It's so final, goodbye. But then again, so is death, they go hand in hand. I've only ever said a final goodbye once before, and that was to my grandfather. But I was a lot younger and I didn't really understand the concept of death and what it meant. At least not like I do now. Right now I miss him and I want to call him, sometimes I call his cell number, but it has been disconnected for a while now. I have yet to erase him from my phone. But even with no contact, in the back of my mind he could just be busy or have a new number. I still think maybe he'll call today and this whole thing will just be this huge mistake. But that doesn't happen in real life and I need to accept this. So I will go and I will try and accept what has happened. I only hope it wont destroy me in the process.

Another Day, Another Struggle.

Today was hard. I wanted to tell you about this project I'm working on and I wanted you to know about my life. All I want to do is share it with you. But your not around anymore. Your not even a phone call away, which I still don't accept. I look at the stars and I want so badly for you to be somehow seeing me. I just need you to know I miss you. It's become so selfish, these feelings of loss, regret, sadness, guilt, and so much more. But as hard as I try, I'll always be selfish. So for this reason alone, I selfishly continue to miss you.

My Self Portrait.

I Love You.

I love you and will continue to love you in a way no one else ever will. You were and are my everything. I breath because you give me the strength to take a breath. I find the courage to take a breath when I don't want to because you taught me how to keep breathing through the pain.