Dog Days Are Over.

Love this song.

Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

I love this song.

Your Song.

This song is one of my favorites. It's beautiful and sweeps me off my feet every time.

Grandad And Sinatra.

I've always loved Sinatra, since forever basically. Tonight I was watching From Here To Eternity, a movie with Sinatra in it. While watching this movie it kept making me think about my grandad. He died when I was younger, I think I was 6. I have a few memories of him, but not nearly enough. For the most part I think I know him more through the stories my family has told me about him. As far as I can tell, he was someone I think I could have talked to for hours. I always feel like I missed out on some amazing conversations with him. I think that's why I've always liked Sinatra, especially his movies, because I think it makes me feel closer to my grandad. That may sound crazy, but that's okay. They looked a lot alike, especially as he got older.

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

I'm feeling Elvis tonight....he's always a lovely friend to have around on nights like these.

Turn Off Your Mind, Relax.

I'm really feeling the Beatles today, especially the song Tomorrow Never Knows. So check it out :)

Sorrow For The Dead.

The sorrow for the dead is the only sorrow from which we refuse to be divorced. Every other wound we seek to heal—every other affliction to forget; but this wound we consider it a duty to keep open—this affliction we cherish and brood over in solitude.

- Washington Irving (1783-1859)

A Part Of Me Is MIssing.

I keep waiting for you to call me or text me randomly like you used to. I keep thinking that maybe you just got a new phone or something and that's why I haven't heard from you. I can't seem to accept that you're really gone. It doesn't make sense to me that you're no longer able to just show up and surprise me. It doesn't make sense to me, the fact that you'll never hold me or whisper those words that always made me calm down when I was a wreck. It just doesn't make sense that I'll never be able to tell you or hear you say I love you. I miss you every day. Everything, all that I am is because of you. You showed me things that I never would have seen. Your love made me stronger and your faith in me made me believe in myself. Without you, I don't know who I'd be today. I wish you were here with me now, I need you more than ever and the fact that you cant be here is what hurts the most. A part of me is missing and I'll never get that part back.

Just Scream!

I feel contained and restricted. All I want to do is scream my head off, swear like a sailor, and then do something completely random, crazy, or reckless, or all 3 if I can make it happen. Maybe it's because I want a distraction, maybe it's because I know you wont be calling me anytime soon, or maybe it's because I'm not as ready to face reality as I thought I was. But once again, I am going to give in to this urge. Watch out, because this weekend is going to be crazy.

Fefe Dobson Overload.

Okay, so I'm totally in love with Fefe Dobson right now. So here's a couple of video's to get you in a Fefe loving mood too ;)

It's Time To Allow Depression To Take Over.

I'm tired of pretending everything is under control. I'm tired of making everyone think I'm totally okay. It's more exhausting than just being sad and it's also more painful. So just for a little while, I am going to drown in sorrow. I am just going to allow myself to be sad and not worry if someone else will notice. It's been a while, so most people aren't asking me if I'm okay anymore, which means most people probably wont notice, which is exactly what I want. I just want to be allowed to be sad without worrying if others are worrying. So maybe this will help me, I don't know what else there is to do.

Balance.

Ones life requires great thought, planning, and carefulness, for one wrong choice can upset the entire balance. Yet the notion to be reckless pops into my head more than any other.

The Time Has Come.

The time has come for me to go, but I'm not ready to do so. I have so much I wanted to do, so many people I wanted to see, so much I wanted to say, but time would not slow down for me and now I've run out of it. I will not get to go for another walk in the park and watch the swans dance around the lake, nor will I have another chance to watch the city move around me. I will not get another chance to sit upon the rooftop which I love so much, nor will I get to watch the float planes take off and land in a way that seems so graceful. Alas, I can feel this rip upon my soul, tearing as I further my distance between the life I loved so much here and this new life I live now. I feel confused and saddened. I love this new life I am apart of now, but I will always cherish my time in this place that gave me so much of myself. Parts that I thought had been lost forever, were found in such simple ways in this place I will always view as home.

If Only.

If only I could hold onto this. I'm trying so hard to memorize this moment. I'm breathing deeply through my nose for the smell. I'm listening silently so I can hear all the sounds this city makes. I'm looking around, barely blinking, trying to memorize everything I see. I even take a picture with my phone, though I know it will not be the same when I look at it later. If only I could hold onto this.