Lolita.

Los Angeles......CRAZY AS F*%!

Living in LA has been an adventure so far. I've met some awesome people, re-connected with old friends and unfortunately also lost some friends. But in a city this big, i'm bound to bounce back from that drama. Fingers crossed. Things seem to happen really fast here. Life is always unexpected and many of my best nights have been random last minute things, which I love. So far, living here is helping me get over my anxietys and just live a little more. I'm grateful, even if it's only for a little while, to not feel completely trapped. But damn people can be crazy here.

Ready Or Not.

Totally digging this song today. Check it out:

Once Again, There's A Void.

I have this whole in my heart. Nothing feels right. I feel empty and alone, even though I'm surrounded by people I know care about me. I hate that I feel this way. I hate that no matter what I do, this void is always here. Once again I'm getting these urges to fill this void with things I know wont help. But it sure would help for a while. Maybe just a small break from reality would be good?

Kill An Error.

To kill an error is as good a service as, and sometimes even better than, the establishing of a new truth or fact. Charles Darwin (1809-1882)

We Found Love In A Hopeless Place.

Feeling it.

Love In Your Eyes.

I was reading about people that go through severe struggles and about how they tend to hold on to or grasp on to someone or certain actions. They do it for illogical reasons sometimes, but the idea is that they get comfort out of this person or action. Sometimes it's the person that hurt them, if there was a long enough connection, certain things that person did might be comforting to do for the person who was harmed. Sometimes it's what a person doesn't do that makes them feel safe. I think the reason why I connected to you was because you used to be really angry and you'd yell at me a lot, sometimes for no reason. But you never hit me. And once you got mad a few times, I knew you'd never hurt me. It was just the way you went about everything, your body language, your tone, your eyes. Your eyes always have love in them. That may be hard for you to understand, but they do. I know theres love. I know you have a loving soul. You're filled with passion and I know you care. You don't always show it, but I know. I hope you know, I care too.

Happy.

I love you. I hate you. I miss you. I want you. I want you to be happy. I hope you're happy.......

Come Back.

I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss feeling safe and I miss knowing someone understands me. Right now I feel lost. Right now I feel sad. Right now I feel empty. I wish I just needed companionship. That would be so much easier. But that's not enough. I need you. You're the only one that fills this void. Other guys don't know how to make the void go away. I know everything got really complicated and I know that it's all just gotten out of hand. I sort of understand why you backed off. But I need you back in my life. If I had thought for even a second that your presence would be in jeopardy, I would have never let things get this way. I need you in my life and I need to know you'll be here. I just need you back. Please. Come back.

The Big Bang.

I'm obsessed with this song right now. Kevin Zegers is in this video.....so hot.

You Can't Always Get What You Want.

The Moment Of Impact.

The moment of impact. The moment of impact proves potential for change. Has ripples effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together. Making them closer than before. While sending others spinning off into great ventures. Landing where you never thought you'd find them. That's the thing about moments like these. You can't, no matter how hard you try, control how it's gonna affect you. You just gotta let the colliding part go where they may. And wait. For the next collision. - From the movie The Vow. <3

Fly Or Die.

I couldn't find an actual music video so I'm posting this one....such a good song.

You're gone.

I miss you. I miss being able to talk to you. I really need to talk to you right now. Everything is just so complicated and out of hand. I'm fighting back urges, I'm stressing out. Mostly I'm trying so hard to just not fuck up right now. I need you. I wish you were here. I wish more than anything that you could be here to believe in me. But you're gone and without you, I'm just not sure how long I can keep this up. Some days, like today, it's just so hard.