It Took Me By Surprise.

Just when I was happy and it was really going well, this emotion comes over me. It happens every time I let myself be happy. Maybe when I'm happy I get too reckless, or maybe I'm just not meant to be so happy. Maybe the best I can expect is middle of the road. No more sadness, but no greatness either. I want to say my peak of happiness is worth the pain that follows, but this cannot go on forever. Eventually I need the triggers to stop. Eventually I need to move forward. What if it never happens. What if I'm stuck in this constant cycle? This is no way to live.