Failure.

Today I failed. Today I utterly disappointed everyone that has been depending on me. So many people who need me to stay on track. So many people who worked so hard to get me on a path, the right path. There's so much pressure to succeed, to do the right things. I am not a strong person. I am weak. Yet, the people around me continue to depend on me and constantly expect me to overcome my obstacles. But lately I keep getting beat down and I'm just so tired of getting up. I'm tired of fighting a constant battle. I just want to stay down. Is that so bad? I just want to disappear. I just want to find a place of normalcy. I just want a regular reality where constant pain and disappointment isn't apart of it. I just want my life in grade 10. That was when my life was normal. That's when things made sense. That's when the worst of my problems was what I was going to buy my boyfriend for his birthday. That was when I was truly happy. I want that back. But I'll never get it back and that kills me inside. I miss you. Today I really need you, but you've left me alone and I am lost.