Salvation, Where Art Thou?

I'm drowning. In your memory, in my sorrow, confusion, stillness, regret, and unanswered questions that haunt me. It's all becoming too much. It hurts. It isn't going away, only amplifying. Will visiting you be enough? Will I be able to get past this? Maybe it's not something I can do on my own. Maybe I need more. I'm not sure anymore. I only know that tonight was hard. All I do is think. I get imprisoned in my brain sometimes, and when that happens it goes dark. I need salvation, I need it before I ruin these things that are so good. My life is good. I'm in a good place, nothing can change this. I'll do whatever I need to, in order to protect where I am in my life right now.

Just Tonight.

A Single Moment.

People just keep fading away. The just drift off and soon they aren't calling you back, writing you back, soon you've lost all contact. I've never really understood why people just fade away after a while. I've never known a time where I didn't have a moment for a friend, but I suppose that's because I understand what that moment could mean to someone. A single moment is all it takes for someone to make a life-altering decision. A single moment.

Paper Aeroplane.

I love this.

Keith.

I watched the movie Keith today, it made me think of Ben. Everything makes me think of him. He haunts me in a way that sends tears to my eyes instantly. It's like the moment I think of him, I instantly get stabbed in the stomach and nothing else matters. Nothing seems important anymore. I've felt like this before and it scares me because the last time I felt like this nothing mattered. The things I did, the people I hurt, the pain I caused, all of it was because I just didn't care. My life has become too important to not care. If I stop caring now, i'll loose everything. It will all go away. Disapear. I cant loose everything all over again. It was so hard to go through what I went through last time, all the emotions I never understood. But now these deep, controlling emotions are back, and I'm at a loss about what to do. I could start taking something, but would that help? I could talk to someone, but most are gone now. Those that have stayed with me, well they don't deserve for me to put them through my pain again. Most are happy right now, excelling in their lives, which I find to be a beautiful and amazing thing. I guess the only thing that is left is hope. Hopefully I can be strong enough to control these emotions. I have to fight them and be stronger, I need to be strong. If only it was as easy to do as it is to type.

You're The One That I Want.

This is an awesome cover.

Big Jet Plane.

She smelled of daisies...

November 14th Vs. November 15th.

It amazes me what can happen in just a few hours. It was his birthday, ya know, on the 14th of November. He died early in the morning on the 15th of November. In the obituary it says that he died at the age of 21. He never knew, understood, lived, experienced the age of 21.