Have You Ever?

Have you ever had that feeling
That feeling that you've lost something
But you don't know what it is

Have you ever had that feeling
That feeling that your sinking
Deeper and deeper into the unknown

Facade

You smile, you laugh, you wave
You talk to those you don't know
As if you've known them since birth
Even though you'd rather not and go

You understand, you forgive
You give comfort to those unworthy of it
While secretly distrusting and hating the very same
Without them knowing it

You go to class, you go to work
You say you've got it all under control
You stress and Freak out
While slipping and losing control

You give advice
To those who are lost
But once alone, you too seek advice
For you are just as lost

Just Agree.

A lot of things happen in this world that we can't stop. Some choices are bad, but people make them all the time. So why is it that when someone make's a bad decision that affects someone else, the someone else feels guilty? Even when that someone else knows it's not their fault. Our minds and our hearts don't always agree and i just don't know why that is. Life would be so much easier if they did.

Let yourself wallow as you box up a part of your life. It's okay.

So when moving and packing up your things, a playlist is necessary. Now the key is to not play songs you've connected with while living in the "safe" area. But rather find songs that allow you to feel sad, but will also convince you to move forward. Find the songs that you can sing along to and totally relate to. Or if all else fails put on some Patsy Cline. She should be every one's sad music in my opinion. You can just hear her voice and know, someone else felt this. But for those wanting a little more selection, try this one.

P.s. The Norah Jones helps mellow you out without being too dramatic. You can never not be in a Norah Jones mood if you ask me.

Moving Playlist #1:
Turn Me On - Norah Jones
Sweet Darlin' - She and Him
If I Can't Have You - Etta James
That's Life - Frank Sinatra
Moondance - From the August Rush Soundtrack
I'll Be Seeing You - Billie Holiday
Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung
The Very Thought Of You - Billie Holiday
Stormy Weather - Billie Holiday
The Story - Brandi Carlile
At Last - Etta James
Days Like This - Van Morrison
Naked As We Come - Iron and Wine
Rock & Roll - Eric Hutchinson
Up Here - Terra Naomi
The Saddest Song In The World - Meiko
A Thousand Miles - Michelle Branch
As Time Goes By - Frank Sinatra
Breathe - Michelle Branch
Don't Know Why - Norah Jones
The Game Changed - Terra Naomi
Time Will Do The Talking - Patty Griffin
Said And Done - Meiko
The Call - Regina Spektor
When The Stars Go Blue - Ryan Adams
A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke
Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? - She And Him
The Vicodin Song - Terra Naomi
Not Sorry - Terra Naomi
Make Up Your Mind - Theory Of A Deadman
Leave the Peices - The Wreckers
Say It's Possible - Terra Naomi
Breaking My Heart - Aqualung
Come Away With Me - Norah Jones

***P.s.s. Sorry, it's a little more female friendly. For the males out there...any song you feel is too girlie, just switch it with a Frank Sinatra Song. It'll do the trick.

Slowly her life faded away with each box packed, as if she had never been there.

Packing up a house is always a sad thing. It's one of the downsides to moving. That, leaving your Friends and current "safe" zone, and having people look at your house (visualizing their life in it). Today we started boxing up things we know we want to bring and not put into storage. I'm such a pack rat that my room is almost as much work as a full apartment. So i was brutal and threw out anything i knew i could live without. It was painful, lol. But i managed to do pretty well i think. I've packed up everything from my dresser and desk because i have to downsize, so with these i must part. I've had them for a good solid 9 years. They've seen me through some hard times, but now it's time to part and go our separate ways. All I've got left to pack is my closet and my bed. It feels like I've been productive today.

Pause. Reflect. Remember to Breath.

Sometimes i get so busy with life that i forget to realize just how amazing this world is. If you need a reminder take a look.



There's just something so calming about sitting in front of an aquarium eh?

LA offers the MOST interesting things to do.

So tonight i went with some friends to Hollywood Cemetery where we watched Bride of Frankenstein. It was so cool! So many people where there. People go early to claim Grass space and bring extravagant picnics and drink wine as the sun goes down. It's very classy in it's own way. If you ever get the chance, go and watch a movie at Hollywood Cemetery. It's a bit morbid, but like estate sales, fantastic at the same time.

P.s. I HATE the ending to Bride of Frankenstein! It's so sad the way he gets rejected like that. She was supposed to be his mate, the one that could relate to him. What a sad way to end his life.

Patience.

Patience. I wish i was patient. I wish i could wait for an answer days after the question had been asked. I wish i could calmly wait for someone to ask me a question before i ask them. But sadly i have no patience. I require quick answers and fault those who do not respond. I do not care what they respond with, as long as there is a response. This i view as a fault on my end. If i were more patient with people, perhaps it would bring about different responses. But sadly i am not.

Questions that never needed to be answered.

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
The remote....it's out of reach.

What would you like to get rid of?
Paris Hilton.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Calgary....i feel like chillin with a few cool kids from that area.

Which language(s) do you want to learn?
French for love. Spanish for fighting.

What do you look for in a friend?
Someone who will let me bitch and cry and react in no way.

Who do you want to meet right now?
Everyone i don't know.

What is your favorite color?
Stupid thing is I'm obsessed with colour - all of them! And somehow I end up wearing a lot of black. Go figure.

If you had $1oo now, what would you spend it on?
A road trip to somewhere i haven't been. Gas is costly...

Your favorite thing right now?
My Kick Ass record player that morgan bought me for christmas. It's amazing.

Fashion pet peeve?
When people wear jean shorts with tights...especially tights with holes or a lace type look. I just think it looks awful.

What is your favorite TV show?
SNL.

What are you reading right now?
The Dante Trap by Arnaud Delalande - it's set it Venice in 1756. It's a crime fiction with a DaVinci Code vibe going on. If you know what Dante's Inferno is then you'll know what I mean.

Tell us 3 random facts about yourself:

I lived in Hong Kong;
I have an identical twin;
I want to live in a converted warehouse studio apartment - NY style - distressed walls, an old lift, open-space filled with art and photography and a big queen bed with fluffy white pillows that never gets made.

Never Underestimate the Healing of a Sad Song

Yesterday everything caught up with me. All those things i was trying to avoid. It's like i slammed into a brick wall. I never understood how painful it could be to loose someone you love, especially when your loosing them to an unknown reason. Why did that person leave you? Why doesn't he want you anymore? Why are guys so bad with explaining things. All they do is avoid it. I guess it's time to watch Elizabethtown and slip away for a few days.

If your in the same boat, here's a playlist for ya:
Gloomy Sunday - Billie Holiday
Elanor Rigby - The Beatles
Hurt - Johnny Cash
Hallejuah - Jeff Buckely
Naked As We Came - Iron and Wine
Anyone Who Had A Heart - Dionne Warwick
I've Just Gotta Get A Message To You - BeeGees
Lost Cause - Beck
The River - Bruce Sprinstein
No Suprises - Radiohead
A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke
Space Oddity - David Bowie

I Like This...

I like waiting for my wet hair to dry into funky waves that never seem to be the same. I like vanilla flavoured cream in my coffee. I like eating alone. I like getting lost. I like your laugh. I like the way your eyes calm me down and the way we hold each others gaze for hours on end. I like listening to old messages people have left in the past and imagine the different replies i could have given. I like being the only one who knows what your thinking in a room full of people. I like going to matinees alone. I like sharing moments of appreciation with others. I like using post-its as bookmarks so i can easily label my favourite parts. I like the sound of a chord change on an acoustic guitar. I like feeling your eyes on me when I look away. I like knowing i can call you at anytime and you'll listen to me. I like seeing the sun rise more than seeing it set. I like leftovers. I like unplanned road trips. I like being in the rain more than being in the sun.

Phantoms.

Phantoms! Whenever I think I fully understand mankind's purpose on earth, just when I foolishly imagine that I have seized upon the meaning of life.. suddenly I see phantoms dancing in the shadows, mysterious phantoms, performing a gavotte that says, as pointedly as words, "What you know is nothing, little man; what you have to learn, immense."

-Charles Dickens

He spoke the truth.

The Lost Tribes Of New York City.

Urban anthropologists Carolyn and Andy London animated street objects of New York using the voices of New Yorkers they had interviewed. It's insane! Check it out.

Beautiful, yet Violent.

Richard Heeks takes photos of soap bubbles. Apparently they don't pop, but instead rip and tear. How violent! But still so beautiful.

The Only Thing Missing, Is You.

Check out this couple's awesome and creative wedding invitation.

Black or White.

Love it.

A Girl I Used To Know.

There was this girl i used to know. She had her whole life ahead of her. She was constantly making goals for herself and changing them daily. She was a fighter. People knew that she was not to be crossed and if she was, that was it. You'd get the silent treatment so bad you'd regret ever crossing her. On rare occasions she gave a second chance, but only to those who were truly remorseful and deserved it. But somewhere along the way, through Jr. High and High School, she got lost. Maybe it was the crowd she was with, or maybe the guys she dated. What ever it was, all the things that used to be important seemed small and unworthy of her time and the goals she had made became unimportant. Soon enough she had no idea what her future held. She had lost herself in a world she didn't understand.
To be continued...

Life = Gravity.

Bad things happen to us all the time. Some of us believe in karma. But what about those who do nothing wrong, yet suffer more than any person should? What about Innocent children that haven't even had a chance to do something wrong? Why do they have to go through struggles? Karma does not exist in my mind. Life is hard. It will never be easy. Right when you think your happy, look out. Something WILL go wrong. Its inevitable. A balance, some might say. Look at it as gravity; what goes up must come down. All you can do is cherish those ups and when your down, know that you'll be up again.

Thank you.

Moving, inevitably you'll have to say goodbye to those who are staying behind. It's always hard to say goodbye to those who have made your life better because they were in it. I'm not sure anyone can really know the impact they have on someone else. But i hope the people here know the impact they've made in my life before i leave. There are certain people here that have helped me get past some pretty hard things over the past year and to those that did, thank you. You'll never know how much being there for me has meant. It's always sad saying goodbye, you can't always be sure that you'll see everyone again. It could be the last time you hug them. It's even harder when you have to say goodbye before your ready. But you can't ever really prepare for goodbyes, I've certainly never been good at them, and I've said a lot of goodbyes. So the countdown starts. I've already had to say goodbye to a few, and as much as I'll want to procrastinate saying goodbye to anyone else, it's inevitable. So to all those that have been in my life this past year, in case i don't get the chance to say it, thank you.

Playlist for Morgan:
1. Tire Swing - Kimya Dawson
2. Half Asleep - School of Seven Bells
3. Hook Me Up - The Veronicas
4. Reasons to Love You - Meiko
5. Would You? - Richard Swift
6. Heart it Races - Architecture in Helsinki
7. Beirut - Elephant Gun
8. Brighter Discontent - The Submarines