When You Believe.

What Goes Around...Come Around.

The Terrifying Journey Of Life.

Life is a scary thing. The future is a mystery, the past haunts you, and the present shocks you. I've been finding lately that I go back and fourth between being scared of my current reality and being shocked by it's very existence. I've been working hard to get to where I am now. It wasn't so long ago that I was graduating from high school and starting community college. Back then I had a lot of things to deal with that caused me to really see the world for all of its heart ache and pain. But I also really started to see the beauty in it as well. For the first time, I really saw things. But now I'm about to graduate university. I've done so much in the past 5 years. I've moved a lot. I've seen a lot. Sometimes I can't believe I've accomplished as much as I have. I knew that there were certain things I wanted to do, but I never knew if I'd actually do them. So sometimes when I look around at where I live and what I'm doing and what I've done, I'm in shock. But then I think about what I have to do next, which is crazy scary. I got through the stuff that may have seemed hard at the time, but I don't think it's anything compared to what comes next. Once I graduate, thats it. I'm in the real world. I'll have more responsibilities and more expectations. Sometimes I think i'm ready for it and sometimes I don't know if i'll ever be ready.

Overdrive.

A Romantic.

“I'm not sentimental--I'm as romantic as you are. The idea, you know, is that the sentimental person thinks things will last--the romantic person has a desperate confidence that they won't.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

What Are You Doing New Years Eve?

This December.

This December has not been so great for me. Usually I love December. Both of my parents have December birthdays along mine and my sisters. It's a month of being broke and celebrating. Christmas is always fun and filled with family and love. New Years is a time to be happy and reflect on the good, not the bad. But because I got sick with Pneumonia, December is ruined. Instead of going to Malaysia, Morgan and I stayed in LA. On Christmas Eve, we watched movies, trying to speed up the day. On Christmas we went and saw two movies at the theatre to again avoid the day. We couldn't even see the movie we wanted to because it was sold out. Figures. We skyped with our parents, but it really wasn't the same thing. It was all very depressing. Morgan and I both really needed the vacation from our lives and instead I got deal with being sick and feeling like crap and Morgan had to deal with me. Our birthday was also a let down this year. The best part of it was probably the breakfast. We went to this breakfast place you have to wait in line for because it's so popular. It was on Morgans list. Then we saw a movie Morgan wanted to see. The night was my choice. All I wanted was for some friends to join me in being happy and to drink and be merry. So I invited a few people to my favorite bar. Of course pretty much no one came. Yes it was last minute, but still. Most people didn't even bother to respond at all. The only people that I invited that came actually drove up from Santa Barbara. That was a nice surprise since my Santa Barbara friends never come down to LA and always bail. But everyone else really let me down. Thank goodness I have a twin so some of her friends came so I didn't look so pathetic. And of course the one person I wanted to wish me a happy birthday didn't, like usual.

Art Stands Still.

History develops, art stands still. - E. M. Forster

Pneumonia.

So I was supposed to go on this amazing trip to Malaysia to visit my parents over winter break, my last winter break before I graduate college. Unfortunately the day before my sister and I were supposed to leave, I got a bad case of pneumonia. I was then hospitalized for 4 and a half days, And now i'm on bed rest at home for the next week. Figures this would happen. I'm so unlucky.

Polymer Photogravure Prints.

So beautiful.

Contentment.

I want so much to happen in my life. I want to fall in love. Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. But I couldn't have already had the love of my life. I hope I haven't yet, or it's lost forever. I want to know the feeling of contentment and know that i'm completely okay. I want to experience life's joys with someone who will appreciate them just as much as I do. I want to be happy.

Ragged And Withered Surfaces.

I have always a sacred veneration for any one I observe to be a little out of repair in his person, as supposing him either a poet or a philosopher; because the richest minerals are ever found under the most ragged and withered surface of the earth. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

Fell Apart.

Your love was the best part, even though it all fell apart.

It's All On You.

Amazing. I hope he has an album come out one day....there's so much soul.