Irony.

Things have been going really well for me and people have been starting to notice. People have been more open to working with me and people have been more interested in my opinions. This has been feeling really good because I've been trying to make people realize I'm serious and I'm finally starting to make an impression. So why is it that right when things are going really well I get this feeling. Yes I had to deal with a guy that I haven't had such great relations with in the past, but can a simple conversation that didnt even go too bad cause all this? A feeling of sadness, loneliness, and mostly fear has taken over my mind and body. I'm tense and nervous. My mind keeps going over what could have happened and what might still happen. Why must my previous experiences still haunt me so? Will it never cease to bring me pain? My friend told me the other day that he liked me because of all his girl friends, I was the least crazy. But the truth is that I'm probably more crazy than all of his other girl friends combined. Ill never be just a normal girl. I'll always end up being the girl in the corner drinking, trying to feel safe.

You.

What A Feeling.

Totally digging this song right now.

Trouble Sleeping.

I've been having a big problem with being able to sleep. My mind just keeps going over everything I need to do. My mind won't stop racing. I'm afraid if I stop it'll all just fall apart. But for the past couple of nights I've been using this sleeping sound app that plays rain storms and it's been helping me to fall asleep. The sound of a rain storm seems to calm me right down. It's weird but it feels comforting.

There's A Void.

I feel as if there's something missing. My heart aches and my stomach is tightened. I feel as if I should cry, but I don't know why. In the past when I've felt like this, I've always known the cause. Perhaps it's just a general emptiness.

You Will Forever Be A Part Of Me.

"There’s this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."

-Gretchen Kemp

The Time Travelers Wife.

This movie is filled with so much love.

Almost Doesn't Count.

Mr. Know It All.

Have You Ever?

Living For Two.

Everyday seems to just hurt like hell. Each day of November my heart breaks just a little bit more, which is hard to do since it's already broken. Each day is like another stab from the knife. It doesn't matter how long, it still feels like I just lost you. It still feels like your supposed to be calling me at any minute. I just want to hear your voice. You knew how to make me bold and how to make me strong and how to make me safe. But now I'm just searching for those feelings. I can feel them, but they leave me almost as fast as I find them. I do things I know I shouldn't do, I say things I know I don't mean. The people around me don't know what I'm doing and I feel like I'm a stranger to most. Those that know me, I'm almost afraid to be around them. They'll see the signs, they'll worry, they'll know I'm acting out and I don't want it to get out of hand. But being reckless, being crazy and wild and just living, it's only way I can distract myself. If I'm not doing exactly what I want, then it's almost like I'm living a half life. And without you, for you, I need to live for both of us, so a half life just wont do. But that's the expectation of everyone around me. Great expectations of a broken soul.......perhaps those expectations of those around are just too high.

Me And Tennessee

A Break.

I'm doing really good. I'm happy, I'm driven, I'm feeling challenged, and I'm feeling inspired. But just for this next month, I'm going to take a break. It's exhausting fighting and being happy when all you wanna do is hide in a corner with a bottle of jack and remember the old times, before you even thought about hiding in a corner. This month is going to be hard, It's going to hurt. How It's already been a year, I have no idea. And I can't really decide if I'm proud or ashamed of my year. In a lot of ways I'm so proud of all the long nights and of all of the stuff I've had to go through to get here. But is it enough, have I done enough?

La Vie En Rose.

I love this song <3