Balance.

Ones life requires great thought, planning, and carefulness, for one wrong choice can upset the entire balance. Yet the notion to be reckless pops into my head more than any other.

The Time Has Come.

The time has come for me to go, but I'm not ready to do so. I have so much I wanted to do, so many people I wanted to see, so much I wanted to say, but time would not slow down for me and now I've run out of it. I will not get to go for another walk in the park and watch the swans dance around the lake, nor will I have another chance to watch the city move around me. I will not get another chance to sit upon the rooftop which I love so much, nor will I get to watch the float planes take off and land in a way that seems so graceful. Alas, I can feel this rip upon my soul, tearing as I further my distance between the life I loved so much here and this new life I live now. I feel confused and saddened. I love this new life I am apart of now, but I will always cherish my time in this place that gave me so much of myself. Parts that I thought had been lost forever, were found in such simple ways in this place I will always view as home.

If Only.

If only I could hold onto this. I'm trying so hard to memorize this moment. I'm breathing deeply through my nose for the smell. I'm listening silently so I can hear all the sounds this city makes. I'm looking around, barely blinking, trying to memorize everything I see. I even take a picture with my phone, though I know it will not be the same when I look at it later. If only I could hold onto this.

How I've Missed You So.

Oh Vancouver, How I've missed you so! I've missed your beauty, your inspiration, and your love. Your warm and kind citizens know how to embrace one so, and for that I will always have a special place for you. You never fail to inspire me in a new and exciting way each day. While here, not once have I felt a lacking in ideas. If only I could hold onto this feeling forever. This feeling that has come over me, which is full of happiness.

Snow Makes Everything New.

Today I arrived in Vancouver. How I've missed it so. The moment I arrived it began to snow, which made me ecstatic. I've missed snow and its beauty. I love how it can make everything look so different and how it can make everything new again. In some ways I hate disturbing the untouched snow, but I also love it. I hate it because its pretty, but I love it because it makes me feel adventurous and special in a way because I was the first person to be there and to disturb it.

Rare Moments Of Clarity.

‎"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive."

I relate to this quote because every time I'm happy, all I want to do is hold on to that moment, but it always slips away.

Lightning Has Struck.

Yes, that's right. I went out and got myself a tattoo. I got a lightning bolt on the inside of my left arm above my wrist. It's small and prefect. I love it. I got it because I wanted a power symbol. As a whole I think I'm a pretty strong person, but a lot of times I forget how strong I can be. I got the tattoo to remind me that I will always have the strength to overcome anything.

Gatsby.

Today I had this urge to watch The Great Gatsby. I love the story because it's tragic and it just goes to show how much love can blind you. I love happy endings as much as the next person, but I feel like when you have an amazing love sometimes it's bound to get messy. Not everyone can live happy ever after, which is why I like Gone With The Wind, The Great Gatsby, and Casablanca. They may all end up apart, but they had an epic romance and are all beautifully tragic. I find that I can relate to Gatsby, in the way of being your own enemy. I end up being my own demise all the time, just as Gatsby was.

"He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it." - F. Scott Fitzgerald (The Great Gatsby)

Don't You Wanna Stay.

This song pretty much explains how I feel right now.

It Cuts Like A Blade Newly Sharpened.

If I Die Young was my favorite song for a while. If you look back at an older post, you'll see I actually posted the music video. But ever since Ben, I can't even get through the first verse without starting to cry. I loved the song because I thought deep down that I could relate to it. I never ever imagined that anyone else I knew could relate to it. The song just keeps getting more popular and it's getting harder to avoid it. I've tried to fight back the tears, but I can't seem to get very far. Hopefully I'll be stronger soon, but I very much doubt it.

Finally I'm Getting Into This Session.

This session at school, were getting into studios and lighting. I don't have any real knowledge about lighting so I've been feeling a little behind. But I totally nailed my last assignment. I'm so excited about it because I feel like everything just clicked. Everything just made sense and I could see exactly how each move would change the lighting. I feel really excited about school again and I'm very happy about that.

Give In To Me.

So I saw Country Strong tonight. I was looking for more of an inspirational movie, which this didn't turn out to be. But it was still a great movie. Definitely go check it out. Here's a clip:

If You're A Bird......I'm A Bird.

I had to post this scene too......I love it.

I'll Be Seeing You.

The Notebook is every girls favorite love story. It was mine for a time as well. I didn't realize how close to my heart it was until recently. This movie will forever engrave what once was ours and will help me keep you close. I'll be seeing you.