When Will It Stop?

I can run, i can hide, but eventually it always comes back. This feeling of sadness overwhelms me. Even moving away from all things toxic can't make it go away. If anything i think the sadness has become worse. At least before i had some great friends to depend on, here there's no one i can talk to about this. I really thought i had finally escaped this feeling. This fear and sadness was gone for almost a month. It was a great month. But now reality is kicking in. I ran away from something i can't run away from. And by running away i some how made it worse. How does that work? I'm lost. If i stay here I'm afraid the hole inside me will grow. But if i leave I'm giving up. I've only been here a month and a half. How sad would that be to give up so soon? I've already let myself down a lot this past while, can i add another thing to the list? No, I really don't think i can. But come January i'll be back in Orange County.