The World Should Stop.

Whenever something bad happens in my life, I forget everything for a second. I drop what ever it is I'm doing and just reflect or accept or process what it is that has happened. Sometimes all I need is a minute, but sometimes it can take me longer. Sometimes I need a day and sometimes I need a lot longer. But the whole world just doesn't stop because something bad happened to you on that day. No, the world will keep going. The earth will keep spinning and people will keep living their lives as if nothing has changed. So what do you do if you can't stop the world, but for the moment your world is stopped? You hope that when you can finally start living again you wont have missed too much.

It Took Me By Surprise.

Just when I was happy and it was really going well, this emotion comes over me. It happens every time I let myself be happy. Maybe when I'm happy I get too reckless, or maybe I'm just not meant to be so happy. Maybe the best I can expect is middle of the road. No more sadness, but no greatness either. I want to say my peak of happiness is worth the pain that follows, but this cannot go on forever. Eventually I need the triggers to stop. Eventually I need to move forward. What if it never happens. What if I'm stuck in this constant cycle? This is no way to live.

Words.

Who has words at the right moment?

Charlotte Bronte (1816-1855)

This Ain't No Disco, It Ain't No Country Club Either, This Is LA!

Hey so I'm, just about ready to hit up LA for the weekend with my mom and sister. It'll be a great weekend, enjoy yours as well. Here's a great one to start it off right:

Relationships.

Every kind of relationship I have....needs work. I've fallen into a me pattern once again. I think about myself way too often these days. Yes, I'm working on myself and trying to find where I want to be in this world. But I've become obsessed with working on myself. Lately I've been worried about a lot of things in my own life, which is fine. But I've let it affect my relationships. My friends are being neglected and that's awful. People depend on me and I've been letting them down. But no more. I will be less focused on myself and more on what's important. I try and be as observant as possible, but I feel like because I'm trying to see everything, I'm missing the big picture all together. Sure I notice all the details everyone else doesn't, but that doesn't mean anything if I'm not seeing what everyone else is.

Thought Today.

At the peak of happiness and joy there is great sorrow and pain. Maybe it's easier to think about sad things when your happy, because when your already sad....thinking about everything else might just be too much.

Roots.

Today I was told I need to have roots. I need to ground myself. Well I'm not too sure how to do that, or even where I should root myself. I don't really have anywhere that I would like to be for a long time. I like moving a lot. I love meeting people and I love living in different places. You get to experience different vibes and different cultures and different ways of life. So until I get that feeling, or until I am forced to root myself, I will continue to move forward. Next is Santa Barbara and then who knows? Possibly Kentucky, or maybe New York. But where ever I go, It probably wont be in California. I love California very much. My experience here has been amazing, but I'll be in Santa Barbara for three years and by then I'll need a new vibe. I'll need new surroundings. It's how I've always lived, so why stop now?

P.s. 11:11...make a wish!

Speech Is No Longer A Concern.

I did it. As of today I am officially free of speech class. I finally passed. I can finally breath again. It's been a constant weight on my chest. But now, the weight is gone. Such a relief!

Freedom From Saddleback.

It's official ladies and gentlemen. I am free. No longer will I be a students at Saddleback. I am officially done and am moving forward. On to a new chapter of my life. Soon I will also be saying goodbye to Orange County and will be moving to Santa Barbara. By the end of August I will be closing this chapter of my life. It's sad in some ways, but I know it's the right decision for me. It was nice to come back to Orange County, but being back has only made me realize that it's time to move forward. I have made friendships that will hopefully last a lifetime, but now it's time for a new adventure. SB here I come!

You Can't Deny The Awesomeness.

I know, people are always talking about how Ke$ha is this and that. Most people have been hating on her lately. But I don't care. All I know is that her music...is awesome. Yes, her video's are strange and she parties a lot...but I'm okay with that. I love listening to her music. It's fun and it makes me want to dance.

Check her latest video out. You'll love the beat.

The Little Things Save You.

Even when things really suck, you have to remember to still enjoy the small things. For example I'm having a horrid weekend so far. But I found out today that golf carts can get tickets, which pretty much made my day. It's just one of those things that you wouldn't think about, but yes, that makes sense. I also finally made it into the circle. I was finally cool enough to have an adventure with someone. I've been waiting for the cool sign and it was finally made. Most people wouldn't even care about this, but it's a personal accomplishment of mine. So even though I had a crappy day, with awful customers at work, I still enjoyed the small things. Oh, plus I've been listening to the Scarlet Johanson and Pete Yorn album; The break up. It's fantastic. It's one of those albums that you have to listen to all at once. It's amazing.

People Need To Realize That Everyone Is Equal.

Lately I've been noticing that people are being super judgmental lately. People just need to stop and re-evaluate. Just because one person believes something you don't, it doesn't make them any less amazing. Everyone has different views and everyone is different. If everyone was the same life would be boring. So get off you high horses and just accept people for who they are. Life would be so much easier if people were more accepting.

Sometimes Pooh Bear Says It Best.

“Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.”
-Winnie the Pooh

Haunting Voice.

So I'm working on my artist statement right now. I usually put music on in the background to muffle out other noises so I can really focus. While I was typing Brittany Murphy came on, I had my iTunes on shuffle. I've always thought she had an amazing voice, but it really is truly haunting. Its like Patsy Cline in the way that you can truly hear how she's feeling while she's singing. It's very intense. Check out this clip: