Disappointment Never Gets Easier.

I made my plans. I finally had a journey I felt good about. Why couldn't this one thing workout for me? Life is a mystery I wish I understood just a little more. Just so I could know why the things that I become so dependent on go wrong or go away. Long Beach was the plan. It was a good one. I felt good about it. Now the plan is broken. It can no longer be. Why? Because yet again my bones from the past have been dug up. If I hadn't have left, I would have had another semester at Saddleback and then maybe with a higher GPA I would have gotten in. But no, I took the easy way out and ran away. This is my price I suppose. Now it's either Fullerton or San Francisco. But I don't feel half as good about either of those. San Francisco was my old plan, but I made it when I was someone else. It may not be the right plan for me anymore. What if I go and it's wrong? I've already fallen behind. I can't keep falling. I thought I was done falling.