Hello world! I've been away for a while but I'm back to blogging.
So today's topic: trust.
How can anybody trust anyone? I've had my trust broken ALOT of times. In fact i can actually say; everyone that's ever said they loved me has broken my trust. Which is ironic because you only trust people you love right? I mean what the fuck is the point? Why does it even matter? Emotions are disgusting. I wish that we could just feel happy all the time and that was it. Fuck being sad. I mean at the end of the day were all gonna die. So whats the point? I think maybe I've been trying to find this idea that were all supposed to live by, but at the end of the day there's no point to any of it. Were just here for a little while. So I'm done trying to find an answer that just doesn't exist.
"A thousand goals have there been hitherto, for a thousand peoples
have there been. Only the fetter for the thousand necks is still
lacking; there is lacking the one goal. As yet humanity hath not a
goal.
But pray tell me, my brethren, if the goal of humanity be still
lacking, is there not also still lacking- humanity itself?-"
I'm going to enjoy everything i can and if something bad happens, well i mean it can't be worse than what's already happened. So I'm no longer going to dwell in the past. It's only making me have breakdowns and causing problems for everyone around me. I've become this toxic person that drags people into something that they should have never been dragged into. So I'm done letting it affect today and everyday after. It happened, and now its over.
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About Me
Rock & Roll
The List.
The mission: to complete all 101 things in 1001 days.
Start date: 3/18/12
End date: 12/14/14
Line = Done!!!
Bold = Working on it currently.
1. I will loose 50 lbs.
2. I will not lie to myself.
3. Post a blog as much as possible to keep you all posted on my progress if nothing else.
4. Stop feeling guilty about people caring about me. They are allowed to.
5. Get lost often.....you have to keep life interesting.
6. Do something for someone else as much as possible. I'm pretty well off compared to most and doing something for someone can be so simple. The smallest things can mean the world to some people.
7. Buy books to inspire me and enhance of knowledge about life and love.
8. Fall in love with something or someone.
9. Carry a book of quotes and write one on a piece of paper and place it on every bulletin board I see.
10.Get an internship at either a photo studio or a newspaper/magazine. I need to start focusing and get going if I want to end up somewhere good in the photography industry.
11. Go on a road trip which isn’t planned for a week.
12. Go on a planned road trip.
13. Dance in the moonlight to Dancing in the Moonlight.
14. Dance in the rain.
15. Put a photo show together.
16. Send a message in a bottle.
17. Find the perfect tree. By which I mean, find the tree that puts all other tree’s to shame. There’s a tree out there that would amaze anyone whose looking for it. I will find that perfect tree.
18. Plant a tree in honor of someone great.
19. Stay up for 24 hours talking to someone I just met.
20. Inspire someone.
21. Write my initials on all my $5 bills.
22. Become pen pals with someone awesome.
23. Borrow a book from the public library more and more often.
24. Watch all the Godfather movies. For years now I’ve been saying that I would watch them. (2 out of 3 complete)
25. Watch 25 never-seen-by-me movies from top 250 imdb movie list.
26. Learn the harmonica. I've started but I can only play the blues...by learn I mean i want to be able to rock out on the thing, not just get by.
27. Learn more about my heritage. My mom went on a search to find her birth mom and found a huge family in the process. Turns out she’s Chippewa and therefore so am I. I'm going to focus on learning what that means. I want to understand more about what my family members believe.
28. Try and visit as many art galleries and museums as possible. Seeing what other people have done is amazing.
29. Expand my vocabulary and give 100,000 grains of rice with http://www.freerice.com/.
30. Make 25 of my own recipes.
31. Make a soundtrack to my life.
32. Try Hot Yoga.
33. Put change in other peoples parking meters when their meter is expired but no one is in sight.
34. Learn how to play poker properly.
35. Watch An Inconvenient Truth.
36. Send a postcard to Post Secret.
37. Join Postcrossing and send 50 post cards.
38. Go to an Opera.
39. Ride a Mechanical Bull.
40. Have someone read my palm.
41. Sell something on Etsy.
42. Buy a fisheye lens.
43. Buy a 70-200 lens.
44. Learn how to whistle properly.
45. Read a newspaper from the day I was born.
46. Compile a personal top 25 movie list.
47. Recount 3 dreams through an art project.
48. Photograph a scar and write about it.
49. Watch Samson and Delilah.
50. Learn to write my name in Egyptian hieroglyphics.
51. Sleep under the stars one night, under the open sky.
52. Be able to identify at least 5 constellations.
53. Go to the TCM festival.
54. Be in a relationship that I am fully committed to. I will open up and be completely honest and give it everything I have.
55. Re-learn how to play the guitar.
56. Read Anna Karenina.
57. Get another tattoo.....possibly 2 more.
58. Photograph a lightning storm.
59. Finally go on the europe trip my sister and I planned a few years back.
60. See the Northern Lights.
61. Graduate from Brooks Institute.
62.Move to Los Angeles.
63. Buy a 5D Mark ll
64. Redo my website and make it professional.
65. Create a self portrait that embodies who I am at this point in my life.
66. Visit New Orleans for Mardi Gras.
67. Write a short story.
68. Submit short story to a publication.
69. Hit the bullseye on a dart board.
70. Take a class by Richard Simmons.
71. Read The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.
72. Paint something beautiful.
73. Go horseback riding on the beach.
74. Try to learn French again.
75. Go to Nashville.
76. Visit Krista and meet her wonderful daughter.
77. Visit my parents in Malaysia.
78.Take the train.
79. Go to the Los Angeles Zoo.
80. See all of the shows at the LA Observatory. (2 out 4 complete)
81. Be in 4 places at once. (4 corners of the US?)
82. Visit Hearst Castle.
83. Either create a studio or move into one.
84. Go to a roller derby event.
85. Go to Sprinkles Cupcakes.
86. Go to a taping of Ellen DeGeneres.
87.
88.
89.
90.
91.
92.
93.
94.
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101. Finnish this list.
Start date: 3/18/12
End date: 12/14/14
Bold = Working on it currently.
1. I will loose 50 lbs.
2. I will not lie to myself.
3. Post a blog as much as possible to keep you all posted on my progress if nothing else.
4. Stop feeling guilty about people caring about me. They are allowed to.
5. Get lost often.....you have to keep life interesting.
6. Do something for someone else as much as possible. I'm pretty well off compared to most and doing something for someone can be so simple. The smallest things can mean the world to some people.
7. Buy books to inspire me and enhance of knowledge about life and love.
8. Fall in love with something or someone.
9. Carry a book of quotes and write one on a piece of paper and place it on every bulletin board I see.
10.
11. Go on a road trip which isn’t planned for a week.
12. Go on a planned road trip.
13. Dance in the moonlight to Dancing in the Moonlight.
14. Dance in the rain.
15. Put a photo show together.
16. Send a message in a bottle.
17. Find the perfect tree. By which I mean, find the tree that puts all other tree’s to shame. There’s a tree out there that would amaze anyone whose looking for it. I will find that perfect tree.
18. Plant a tree in honor of someone great.
19. Stay up for 24 hours talking to someone I just met.
20. Inspire someone.
21. Write my initials on all my $5 bills.
22. Become pen pals with someone awesome.
23. Borrow a book from the public library more and more often.
24. Watch all the Godfather movies. For years now I’ve been saying that I would watch them. (2 out of 3 complete)
25. Watch 25 never-seen-by-me movies from top 250 imdb movie list.
26. Learn the harmonica. I've started but I can only play the blues...by learn I mean i want to be able to rock out on the thing, not just get by.
27. Learn more about my heritage. My mom went on a search to find her birth mom and found a huge family in the process. Turns out she’s Chippewa and therefore so am I. I'm going to focus on learning what that means. I want to understand more about what my family members believe.
28. Try and visit as many art galleries and museums as possible. Seeing what other people have done is amazing.
29. Expand my vocabulary and give 100,000 grains of rice with http://www.freerice.com/.
30. Make 25 of my own recipes.
31. Make a soundtrack to my life.
32. Try Hot Yoga.
33. Put change in other peoples parking meters when their meter is expired but no one is in sight.
34. Learn how to play poker properly.
35. Watch An Inconvenient Truth.
36. Send a postcard to Post Secret.
37. Join Postcrossing and send 50 post cards.
38. Go to an Opera.
39. Ride a Mechanical Bull.
40. Have someone read my palm.
41. Sell something on Etsy.
42. Buy a fisheye lens.
43. Buy a 70-200 lens.
44. Learn how to whistle properly.
45. Read a newspaper from the day I was born.
46. Compile a personal top 25 movie list.
47. Recount 3 dreams through an art project.
48. Photograph a scar and write about it.
49. Watch Samson and Delilah.
50. Learn to write my name in Egyptian hieroglyphics.
51. Sleep under the stars one night, under the open sky.
52. Be able to identify at least 5 constellations.
53. Go to the TCM festival.
54. Be in a relationship that I am fully committed to. I will open up and be completely honest and give it everything I have.
55. Re-learn how to play the guitar.
56. Read Anna Karenina.
57. Get another tattoo.....possibly 2 more.
58. Photograph a lightning storm.
59. Finally go on the europe trip my sister and I planned a few years back.
60. See the Northern Lights.
61. Graduate from Brooks Institute.
62.
63. Buy a 5D Mark ll
64. Redo my website and make it professional.
65. Create a self portrait that embodies who I am at this point in my life.
66. Visit New Orleans for Mardi Gras.
67. Write a short story.
68. Submit short story to a publication.
69. Hit the bullseye on a dart board.
70. Take a class by Richard Simmons.
71. Read The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.
72. Paint something beautiful.
73. Go horseback riding on the beach.
74. Try to learn French again.
75. Go to Nashville.
76. Visit Krista and meet her wonderful daughter.
77. Visit my parents in Malaysia.
78.
79. Go to the Los Angeles Zoo.
80. See all of the shows at the LA Observatory. (2 out 4 complete)
81. Be in 4 places at once. (4 corners of the US?)
82. Visit Hearst Castle.
83. Either create a studio or move into one.
84. Go to a roller derby event.
85. Go to Sprinkles Cupcakes.
86. Go to a taping of Ellen DeGeneres.
87.
88.
89.
90.
91.
92.
93.
94.
95.
96.
97.
98.
99.
100.
101. Finnish this list.
Blog Archive
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2009
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June
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- Circle of Life.
- People you love.
- Speech Class.
- Weird is Normal.
- Shake It.
- Back on track
- The Fix to Momentary Depression.
- Experiment Gone Wrong
- Romance in a light.
- Loves Meaning...
- An Empty Road
- Fred Thompson on the Economy
- Let the search begin
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- Introduction to my blog.
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