Friday, June 5, 2009

Loves Meaning...

I'm not an expert on love and relationships and that's a fact. I've made many mistakes and looking back I'd say I've run away from just about every relationship i thought could go somewhere. Right when it ever got to the point of possibly saying the "L" word, I'd bail faster than a kid going off to college. I'm not sure if I've ever been in deep love, which only tells me i can't have been. I don't know why, but it always seems guys are falling in love with me and the moment they say the word love it's an automatic switch for me. One moment I'll be thinking maybe this time there's potential. But once they say the "L" word, the guy gets put into the friend box. I loose all interest. It's almost an instant reaction. I can't explain it. The worst part is, I'm always surprised. I feel like i should see it coming. The part i hate even more is when i break a guy's heart, because I'm for some reason screwed up. If i could for see me not feeling the same, I'd end it before i caused any of them pain.
I wonder if we each have a soul mate or if we are meant to be with one select person. But if there was a soul mate for us out there, then why wouldn't we be with them from the beginning? I mean there's got to be a purpose to all the madness, but what is it? Mating and having offspring is the physical side to it. But from the emotional aspect, why would it be such a personal experience to be close with someone if it were only to save the human race from extinction?
We fall in love. There's a reason why. There has to be a bigger purpose to love. But how do we tell lust from love, love from true love, and how do we know when it's meant to be? I guess this all leads back to one question; do we all have a purpose or are we an experiment with someone watching us from above? Are we dancing for someone else? Perhaps, we all do have a purpose, a person to love, and someone to love us back. But if that is the case then why do some never find their love or purpose?

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